To let go.

I found an abandoned baby hare once.
He was the most adorable,fuzzy,innocent and helpless looking soul.
I "rescued" him (which i later realized i shouldn't have) and brought him home.

Soon,the time came to set him free again.It was a wild creature,and hadn't really developed any attachment to our family.We,on he other hand,gushed at how he wiped his whiskers clean of milk,how he LOVED little watermelon pieces,how he had a keen sense of TASTE and could tell if the cabbage was fresh or not.All imaginary,this was. Like believing the birds chirp outside your window with the sole purpose of waking you up in the morning.

When we set him free,it ached to see him disappear into the bushes.Not knowing who' d feed him,what he would do at night..wondering if he 'd feel lonely.He was still a baby after all.Who'd feed him de-seeded pieces of watermelon again?

In retrospect, Albert didnt need the fruit,or the blanket we provided.He was a creature of the wild.He probably would have been a lot thinner and with coarser fur if we had left him there.But he would be prepared for what was to come.He would know when to hide, when to run, and when to keep still.

How different was my feeling while letting Albert go than my parents' when they let me go??.To pursue my goal.In the big bad world.Without knowing which birds to stay away from and where to find the greenest grass.But i did learn.Nearly escaped several hawks.Ate the wrong flower and groaned for a day.But eventually,I did learn.

Difference is,I came back to tell the tale.I have stronger feet and sharper ears and a keen nose for sniffing out trouble.But boy am i glad for the de-seeded watermelon pieces and the familiar blanket.

I like to believe Albert is happy running around on the same hillock.With a few friends.
Everytime i go there,i kid you not, i call out his name.I hope he peeps through a shrub one day and i catch a glimpse.But i also hope he s wise enough to not come out of there!

unblue the blues..or not!

According to most psychologists,a depressed soul's way to mental calm would be to list out all the things he s good at and is thankful for and see how much better his life is than the less fortunate.
I beg to differ.

Whats that going to achieve?How is that going to help him do something constructive and positive with his time,ergo maybe get him to stop being depressed?It might make him feel happy and content for a while but what next?

I would rather make a list of things about my life that i could change,or list out skills/qualities i wish i possesed, and work toward shortening those lists.

Heres mine: (i am doing the skills one,coz what i want to change about my life is the unemployment and nothing i can do will change that unless i consider serving fries in mcdonalds,or worse,be a CALL CENTRE EMPLOYEE...*shudder* )


Things i wish i could do/be:

1) Sing.

2) Manage my anger.

3)Stick to a workout routine for longer than 2 months.

4) Be creative.I can copy art just fine,but there are almost ZERO original ideas in my head.

5) Get rid of the gut hanging over the top o my jeans. aka the muffin top effect.

6)Blowdry my own hair.

7)Stop peeling the skin off my heel. (pls don't be disgusted,but i hv started drawing blood and i think i hv some deep mental ISSUES)

8)Drink more water.


Turns out,this does nothing to alleviate a bad mood.I am blue as ever.
Psychologists are right and don't listen to me.


9) Write better.

The Secret.

We have a special bond,the three of us.
Thats Gauri, Teddy n me.

And since i ve just come back from a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant with them, their annoying bits are a bit out of focus.So before morning arrives n brings their quirks to attention,while I can only think of the perfectness of US,

This is Why we re HAWT:

1) NONE of us are even remotely attracted to each other.All 3 combinations.
M tellin ya...CRUSHES ruin it all.

2)When you get mad at one of them,theres the other one to talk to. And that person knows its his/her responsibility to end the dumb argument the other 2 are having.

3)We have very little in common,but we always find a common topic to laugh over.

4)We re each very comfortable in the roles we' ve been assigned in this relationship.
Teddy is the Comfort King.
Gauri is the Joker/Confidante.
I am the one they gang up against. (I secretly enjoy the attention)

5)We re all doing/(or not doing) completely different things professionally/academically. That means no patronizing ,no competition and complete freedom to bitch about the system being unfair without the others knowing how YOU really messed up.

6)We can totally just sit in one place and talk for hours.This,I am guessing,will help in the long term when we have bad knees and thrown-out backs.

Yes, we intend being friends for that long.

Thinking Aloud

I am addicted to multi tasking. Or thats just how i see my ADD-Attention Deficit Disorder,for the unclued.
I have,for the past few months,been unable to do any task singularly.I read when I eat, I play spider solitaire in a small window everytime i watch a show on my laptop, I brush my hair when i am studying, I talk on the phone while doing the puzzles in the Mirror,I HAVE to be on the handsfree talking on the phone when i am driving, I cannot run on the treadmill unless i watch the mini tv. I even read when i poop.

Is this normal?
Is my mind so used to not having to concentrate on a task that its forgotten how to?

But i think thats how we ve been conditioned.Come on, the iPad's a major dud because it doesnt allow you to multitask.

Is it multitasking, ADD,too much work,or no-heart-in-work?
Hmm...