I found an abandoned baby hare once.
He was the most adorable,fuzzy,innocent and helpless looking soul.
I "rescued" him (which i later realized i shouldn't have) and brought him home.
Soon,the time came to set him free again.It was a wild creature,and hadn't really developed any attachment to our family.We,on he other hand,gushed at how he wiped his whiskers clean of milk,how he LOVED little watermelon pieces,how he had a keen sense of TASTE and could tell if the cabbage was fresh or not.All imaginary,this was. Like believing the birds chirp outside your window with the sole purpose of waking you up in the morning.
When we set him free,it ached to see him disappear into the bushes.Not knowing who' d feed him,what he would do at night..wondering if he 'd feel lonely.He was still a baby after all.Who'd feed him de-seeded pieces of watermelon again?
In retrospect, Albert didnt need the fruit,or the blanket we provided.He was a creature of the wild.He probably would have been a lot thinner and with coarser fur if we had left him there.But he would be prepared for what was to come.He would know when to hide, when to run, and when to keep still.
How different was my feeling while letting Albert go than my parents' when they let me go??.To pursue my goal.In the big bad world.Without knowing which birds to stay away from and where to find the greenest grass.But i did learn.Nearly escaped several hawks.Ate the wrong flower and groaned for a day.But eventually,I did learn.
Difference is,I came back to tell the tale.I have stronger feet and sharper ears and a keen nose for sniffing out trouble.But boy am i glad for the de-seeded watermelon pieces and the familiar blanket.
I like to believe Albert is happy running around on the same hillock.With a few friends.
Everytime i go there,i kid you not, i call out his name.I hope he peeps through a shrub one day and i catch a glimpse.But i also hope he s wise enough to not come out of there!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
unblue the blues..or not!
According to most psychologists,a depressed soul's way to mental calm would be to list out all the things he s good at and is thankful for and see how much better his life is than the less fortunate.
I beg to differ.
Whats that going to achieve?How is that going to help him do something constructive and positive with his time,ergo maybe get him to stop being depressed?It might make him feel happy and content for a while but what next?
I would rather make a list of things about my life that i could change,or list out skills/qualities i wish i possesed, and work toward shortening those lists.
Heres mine: (i am doing the skills one,coz what i want to change about my life is the unemployment and nothing i can do will change that unless i consider serving fries in mcdonalds,or worse,be a CALL CENTRE EMPLOYEE...*shudder* )
Things i wish i could do/be:
1) Sing.
2) Manage my anger.
3)Stick to a workout routine for longer than 2 months.
4) Be creative.I can copy art just fine,but there are almost ZERO original ideas in my head.
5) Get rid of the gut hanging over the top o my jeans. aka the muffin top effect.
6)Blowdry my own hair.
7)Stop peeling the skin off my heel. (pls don't be disgusted,but i hv started drawing blood and i think i hv some deep mental ISSUES)
8)Drink more water.
Turns out,this does nothing to alleviate a bad mood.I am blue as ever.
Psychologists are right and don't listen to me.
9) Write better.
I beg to differ.
Whats that going to achieve?How is that going to help him do something constructive and positive with his time,ergo maybe get him to stop being depressed?It might make him feel happy and content for a while but what next?
I would rather make a list of things about my life that i could change,or list out skills/qualities i wish i possesed, and work toward shortening those lists.
Heres mine: (i am doing the skills one,coz what i want to change about my life is the unemployment and nothing i can do will change that unless i consider serving fries in mcdonalds,or worse,be a CALL CENTRE EMPLOYEE...*shudder* )
Things i wish i could do/be:
1) Sing.
2) Manage my anger.
3)Stick to a workout routine for longer than 2 months.
4) Be creative.I can copy art just fine,but there are almost ZERO original ideas in my head.
5) Get rid of the gut hanging over the top o my jeans. aka the muffin top effect.
6)Blowdry my own hair.
7)Stop peeling the skin off my heel. (pls don't be disgusted,but i hv started drawing blood and i think i hv some deep mental ISSUES)
8)Drink more water.
Turns out,this does nothing to alleviate a bad mood.I am blue as ever.
Psychologists are right and don't listen to me.
9) Write better.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
The Secret.
We have a special bond,the three of us.
Thats Gauri, Teddy n me.
And since i ve just come back from a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant with them, their annoying bits are a bit out of focus.So before morning arrives n brings their quirks to attention,while I can only think of the perfectness of US,
This is Why we re HAWT:
1) NONE of us are even remotely attracted to each other.All 3 combinations.
M tellin ya...CRUSHES ruin it all.
2)When you get mad at one of them,theres the other one to talk to. And that person knows its his/her responsibility to end the dumb argument the other 2 are having.
3)We have very little in common,but we always find a common topic to laugh over.
4)We re each very comfortable in the roles we' ve been assigned in this relationship.
Teddy is the Comfort King.
Gauri is the Joker/Confidante.
I am the one they gang up against. (I secretly enjoy the attention)
5)We re all doing/(or not doing) completely different things professionally/academically. That means no patronizing ,no competition and complete freedom to bitch about the system being unfair without the others knowing how YOU really messed up.
6)We can totally just sit in one place and talk for hours.This,I am guessing,will help in the long term when we have bad knees and thrown-out backs.
Yes, we intend being friends for that long.
Thats Gauri, Teddy n me.
And since i ve just come back from a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant with them, their annoying bits are a bit out of focus.So before morning arrives n brings their quirks to attention,while I can only think of the perfectness of US,
This is Why we re HAWT:
1) NONE of us are even remotely attracted to each other.All 3 combinations.
M tellin ya...CRUSHES ruin it all.
2)When you get mad at one of them,theres the other one to talk to. And that person knows its his/her responsibility to end the dumb argument the other 2 are having.
3)We have very little in common,but we always find a common topic to laugh over.
4)We re each very comfortable in the roles we' ve been assigned in this relationship.
Teddy is the Comfort King.
Gauri is the Joker/Confidante.
I am the one they gang up against. (I secretly enjoy the attention)
5)We re all doing/(or not doing) completely different things professionally/academically. That means no patronizing ,no competition and complete freedom to bitch about the system being unfair without the others knowing how YOU really messed up.
6)We can totally just sit in one place and talk for hours.This,I am guessing,will help in the long term when we have bad knees and thrown-out backs.
Yes, we intend being friends for that long.
Thinking Aloud
I am addicted to multi tasking. Or thats just how i see my ADD-Attention Deficit Disorder,for the unclued.
I have,for the past few months,been unable to do any task singularly.I read when I eat, I play spider solitaire in a small window everytime i watch a show on my laptop, I brush my hair when i am studying, I talk on the phone while doing the puzzles in the Mirror,I HAVE to be on the handsfree talking on the phone when i am driving, I cannot run on the treadmill unless i watch the mini tv. I even read when i poop.
Is this normal?
Is my mind so used to not having to concentrate on a task that its forgotten how to?
But i think thats how we ve been conditioned.Come on, the iPad's a major dud because it doesnt allow you to multitask.
Is it multitasking, ADD,too much work,or no-heart-in-work?
Hmm...
I have,for the past few months,been unable to do any task singularly.I read when I eat, I play spider solitaire in a small window everytime i watch a show on my laptop, I brush my hair when i am studying, I talk on the phone while doing the puzzles in the Mirror,I HAVE to be on the handsfree talking on the phone when i am driving, I cannot run on the treadmill unless i watch the mini tv. I even read when i poop.
Is this normal?
Is my mind so used to not having to concentrate on a task that its forgotten how to?
But i think thats how we ve been conditioned.Come on, the iPad's a major dud because it doesnt allow you to multitask.
Is it multitasking, ADD,too much work,or no-heart-in-work?
Hmm...
Monday, April 27, 2009
The Eskimo question.
Ok we now know that most river basins and valleys were civilised because of favourable conditions..for farming ,the weather etc etc..
These people travelled looking for better geography and settled where they thought they could adjust best.
Humans originated somewhere warm.
So what i don't understand is...WHY....WHY did one group of nomadic idiots..travel a gazellion miles and didn't stop when it started getting cold.
"No..so what if its chilly..lets walk some more..JUST FOR FUN!! "
Then they started getting toe-numbing and ear numbing...and vegetation became sparse.. " LETS TRAVEL SOME MORE!!! "
A few hundred miles later, it got white.and brain numbingly cold. Toes were falling off.
(they obviously were nt prepared for this weather...and even if they took months enroute they cudnt sew rugs that fast)
No water,no food,no shelter,no fire. Nothing but snow. understandable if 50 % people died.WHY DIDNT THE REST GO BACK???????
Why would u spend years in such an environment patiently waiting for ur eyelids to grow thicker and your noses to become smaller????
idiots.
ps. and they re STILL there.
These people travelled looking for better geography and settled where they thought they could adjust best.
Humans originated somewhere warm.
So what i don't understand is...WHY....WHY did one group of nomadic idiots..travel a gazellion miles and didn't stop when it started getting cold.
"No..so what if its chilly..lets walk some more..JUST FOR FUN!! "
Then they started getting toe-numbing and ear numbing...and vegetation became sparse.. " LETS TRAVEL SOME MORE!!! "
A few hundred miles later, it got white.and brain numbingly cold. Toes were falling off.
(they obviously were nt prepared for this weather...and even if they took months enroute they cudnt sew rugs that fast)
No water,no food,no shelter,no fire. Nothing but snow. understandable if 50 % people died.WHY DIDNT THE REST GO BACK???????
Why would u spend years in such an environment patiently waiting for ur eyelids to grow thicker and your noses to become smaller????
idiots.
ps. and they re STILL there.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Back from the Dead...to Gym.
The last one n a half year has been a roller coaster..NEVER have i experienced so many highs n lows in such a short span..Now i am a commercial pilot.and i am out of work.
I miss writing..and i wish i did it often..there s so many things i regret not writing about at the moment it happened because now i simply CANT remember how everything exactly went..i have a very filtrated memory..only important things stay..little details are discarded...but then,its the small details that fill up the background of a memory..and now my memories are incomplete..i don't remember the order in which things happened sometimes..what a shame!
But i have learned my lesson.Now on..everything worth remembering will be documented..not HERE of course..
So anyway..
Of late,GYM is the only thing going on with me..i had put on tremendous amounts of lard from everywhere to my face to toes and clothes wouldn't fit .
So i join gym after months of procrastination and persuasion and sniggering thin people.
My gym is quite posh..but i unfortunately i cant soak in the typical ATMOSPHERE of it because i don't go at normal workout hours like early morning or evenings..when most of the crowd hits gym.I go at 11-30...but the crowd a this time is QUITE interesting in itself...
There s me,the out of job,non-student 21 year old who comes with her parents..(think thats lame..try saying it to my face..i have developed biceps now :D)
(my parents are excused from scrutiny...in THIS blog atleast..)
There s a pair of sisters..both extremely conscious of their appearance and who apparently have nt discovered other machines in the gym other than the cycle.
There s a gujju new money madam complete with the entire collection of Nike work out gear and a gold ring in her nose and bangles.
sucks the style out of the red piped expensive looking track pants.
Then the tiny girls..there s a bunch of them..about 5ft tall skinnies with no business being in a gym..but its holiday season.there s no more maths tuition..
They,btw,work out hardest.
then there are the major CASES..the range varies from chubby to obese The ones coming this time are mostly house wives though..not many men...they puff and pant and sweat it out on the cross trainer with their personal trainers keeping an eye on them .
Spiderman is this one guy in gym who s fair,bichara looking with specs. ..then he takes his shirt off. And people gawk. I am one of them.his biceps are as big as my face.vertically.
There are a lot of 20 something men in gym..everyday..pumping iron..but....its 11 am..Don't they have jobs???dont they atleast hv something SLIGHTLY better to do???so guys pls..dont try n impress with big muscle-shasal..i know u re LOSERS.
Forgot to mention the trainers...haha..but thats a whole new post in itself.
I miss writing..and i wish i did it often..there s so many things i regret not writing about at the moment it happened because now i simply CANT remember how everything exactly went..i have a very filtrated memory..only important things stay..little details are discarded...but then,its the small details that fill up the background of a memory..and now my memories are incomplete..i don't remember the order in which things happened sometimes..what a shame!
But i have learned my lesson.Now on..everything worth remembering will be documented..not HERE of course..
So anyway..
Of late,GYM is the only thing going on with me..i had put on tremendous amounts of lard from everywhere to my face to toes and clothes wouldn't fit .
So i join gym after months of procrastination and persuasion and sniggering thin people.
My gym is quite posh..but i unfortunately i cant soak in the typical ATMOSPHERE of it because i don't go at normal workout hours like early morning or evenings..when most of the crowd hits gym.I go at 11-30...but the crowd a this time is QUITE interesting in itself...
There s me,the out of job,non-student 21 year old who comes with her parents..(think thats lame..try saying it to my face..i have developed biceps now :D)
(my parents are excused from scrutiny...in THIS blog atleast..)
There s a pair of sisters..both extremely conscious of their appearance and who apparently have nt discovered other machines in the gym other than the cycle.
There s a gujju new money madam complete with the entire collection of Nike work out gear and a gold ring in her nose and bangles.
sucks the style out of the red piped expensive looking track pants.
Then the tiny girls..there s a bunch of them..about 5ft tall skinnies with no business being in a gym..but its holiday season.there s no more maths tuition..
They,btw,work out hardest.
then there are the major CASES..the range varies from chubby to obese The ones coming this time are mostly house wives though..not many men...they puff and pant and sweat it out on the cross trainer with their personal trainers keeping an eye on them .
Spiderman is this one guy in gym who s fair,bichara looking with specs. ..then he takes his shirt off. And people gawk. I am one of them.his biceps are as big as my face.vertically.
There are a lot of 20 something men in gym..everyday..pumping iron..but....its 11 am..Don't they have jobs???dont they atleast hv something SLIGHTLY better to do???so guys pls..dont try n impress with big muscle-shasal..i know u re LOSERS.
Forgot to mention the trainers...haha..but thats a whole new post in itself.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
10 months too late...
My life has turned around...everythings topsy turvy..
new people..a new profession(not yet)..settling in..getting cozy...having fun...stopping being an FNG...getting my private...and then....ALL of it all over again...
Our school has shut down...ASA....we cursed it..hated it for its indian government-ish babudom...the delay in getting things done...
slow flying...irritating gay instructors...irritating HORNY instructors...good instructors who were too lazy..yada yada yada...
Castle tower..the prison...the barracks...turlock lake..123.45..4654B...can feel the pinch of things drifting away.
coffee and bullshit on the stairs at 3 am..movies NON STOP...midnight icecream drives..drunken parties..waking up when its dark..
Juana-mari getting on our case 24-7...the hunt for the ever elusive vacuum cleaner..and when u find it,not using it till someone comes looking for it and wants it in 15 mins.
It was slow...the management sucked...the people were were ALL weird...all case studies...
but it was a family.a LARGE,assorted family complete with Prince Singh...him entering the corridor made everyone straighten their ties..tuck their shirts in..
After all that happened i thought i would stop caring..but strangely..cant bring myself to be rude to him.His arrival is still intimidating.But i know its not because i respect it.nope,Thats dead.
I miss ASA...a lot.
Its horrible to have just 3 people to talk to..out of which 1 might be sleeping..one takin a crap...the other just being a bore...
i miss everything.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
wtf is wrong wid me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
man i have nt written a teeny tiny WORD since i got here....and is this being one of the BEST experiences or WHAt............cant believe i ve written zilch bout my first step outta home...
there s so much to write!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is such a redundant post....but just wanted to console myself n give myself hope that i WILL write.next weekend.
for SURE.
if m not doing something crazy n absofuckinlutely LOVELY like camping in Yosemite............
lol.
i will be back.
muhahahahaha
there s so much to write!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is such a redundant post....but just wanted to console myself n give myself hope that i WILL write.next weekend.
for SURE.
if m not doing something crazy n absofuckinlutely LOVELY like camping in Yosemite............
lol.
i will be back.
muhahahahaha
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